ITT: Attis ruins Hans forever.

[therealkaichan]

Bonus 02

Church.


Hans was twelve years old when he met Attis.

The man had recently become a Priest of the Church of Remm, and people knew little about him. They knew that the man knew father Darius, and that he had decided to step away from the bloodstained life of a soldier. They knew that Attis was glad to make large donations to the church too, so nobody really minded whatever his past was.

The duo of priests had traveled closer to the Central Quarters in order to find a place where they could build a new branch of the Church, in order to help reconstruct the city after the war. It had simply been the right thing to do, or so Attis insisted, with that serious tone of his.

In there, they had taken the time to visit most of the affiliates to the church, though as opposed to what most expected they never asked for any donations. They spoke to several families and organizations, and among them of course was the Essen-Brandt household.

Madam Brandt had been a devout follower for the longest time, and Colonel Essen had gladly converted shortly before they married. Both their children had been baptized on Lord Remm’s faith, and of course they were raised on his teachings.

Because of that, both children had been present when the Priests visited.

Hans didn’t remember a word of what the adults had talked about. He couldn’t remember even if he tried, because back then he wasn’t yet aware of how things truly worked in the world, or that in order to live comfortably while not caring about things, it was best to care just a little and pretend to care a lot.

The only part he remembers clearly was looking at the older priest and wondering why he couldn’t help but think that the man would understand.
That was why, when the man asked to check their library, Hans was quick to offer to guide him. The shocked faces of his parents were also something he would never forget, or how the younger priest smiled just a little.


Hans walked a little ahead. The older priest, his hair braided and looking a little uninterested was walking a few steps behind. He seemed to be in no hurry.
“Tell me, child.” He started, and Hans turned just enough to see him. “Why did you offer to show me this place?”
“You are like me. Right?”
“Like you?”
“You don’t care. You don’t care at all.”
“Oh... And where do you get that idea?”
“Mother and father were talking to you, but you weren’t looking at them. They offered you money and you said no. They wanted to help. But you don’t need or want help, do you?”
“That much is true. You are a perceptive one, aren’t you?”
“I usually don’t care... But people are easy to read. It’s boring.”
“Ah... A bored one, aren’t you? You probably can’t find anything that can surprise you, can you?”
“Everything is written.” The priest stopped walking at that, and Hans stopped as well.
“Where did you learn that?”
“I read it in a book... But I’ve known it since forever. Father says that it is just nonsense, but I know it is like that.”
“You’re right. It’s exactly like that.”
“So what’s the point in fighting fate if it will happen anyway?”
“How old are you, child?”
“Twelve.”
“Twelve... That’s an interesting age.” The priest motioned for Hans to continue the way, and he did.
“What’s your name?”
“You didn’t even catch that huh?”
“I didn’t care.”
“Attis.”
“I’ll remember it.”
“That’s good. You could say I’m your senior on this.”
“Mother and Father keep on annoying me with this. Even Elisabeth does.”
“And they will keep on doing so.” Attis smiled a little. “The more you grow, the more they will worry. And you will find that every day you care less and less.”
“So I’ll become like you?”
“Maybe. Maybe you’ll do better.”
Hans stopped in front of the library, pointing at the room.
“This is the place.”
“I see, thank you.”
“Huh.”
Attis chuckled, his hand going to his pocket to fetch his glasses.
“Did you know? Even for us, there are little things that can make us feel excited.”
“What kind of things?”
“For me, it’s research. I would gladly consume each piece of knowledge that comes my way. I don't truly care about morals or the consequences.”
“You're a bad priest, then.” Hans nodded, seemingly not too worried about his discovery. “You don’t even care about the church’s teachings.”
“No. But the church won’t mind as long as I don’t do anything ‘wrong’.”
“So as long as you play by the rules, it will be fine if you are weird or evil.”
“That is right. In order to not care, you must care.”
“That is too complicated.”
“It’s not as difficult as it seems. Now, either help or wait.”
“I’ll help.”

Hans spent two hours in the library. The priest was far too busy with his books to even look at him, but it was okay. Hans was more than fine on being excused from doing things. Mother and Father would think he was being helpful... He understood exactly what the priest meant now.

Once he was done, Attis got up from the desk where he was sitting.

“Let’s go back, Hans.”
“Yes. This way.”
This time they walked back silently for more than half the way before Attis spoke.
“Do you know what is the thing that can make you move?”
“No. Not really.”
“I can tell.” The priest chuckled.
“You can?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“‘Fun’. You love being challenged. You love the things that you can’t predict.”
“It could be that, yes. I think you’re right.”
“That was easy, wasn’t it?”
“I like that idea. So I’m keeping it.”
Once more they fell silent. A few steps before the door to the living room, Attis stopped and looked at Hans.
“You and I. We’re hollow.”
“And how does one stop that?”
“By looking for that thing that is ‘fun’, of course. You can either let the emptiness within eat you up, or you can fill the empty space with the things you love.”
“I see. That sounds simple enough.”
“It is. Now let me give you my last advice on being hollow, child.”
“Tell me.”
“Care just enough to keep them happy, and they’ll think there is nothing wrong with you.”
“And if I do a little work, then they’ll think I’m good and stop bothering me, right?”
“Exactly. You're quick to catch up.”
“I’m smart, sir.”
“It will come in handy once you are older. Now let’s go.”


The priest left not too much later, along with the younger priest.

Caring enough, in order to avoid having to care. It sounded busier, but at the same time much less annoying than the life Hans had lived this far.

It was more than worth a try, wasn’t it?



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Notes: ... uh. okay.